These are some really funny lines/stories I read just recently on some forums, I also added a few of my own to the list. Hope they entertain you as much as they did me. (picture unrelated)

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

When you turn the basement lights off you get the fuck out of there.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all
I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly
involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you’re wrong. Except for the remaining time until you suggest that both opinions are right.
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized
that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are
supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back
in the direction from which you came, you have to first do
something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Indifference… meh.

“Dry Clean Only” means this will never be washed.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m
trying to finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes
to the spread of mono and the flu… if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have
nothing else to say”.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.

Photo: Flickr|faith goble