There is nothing  better than getting a humorous email from a friend. Getting your first friend email is paramount to a first kiss, a first marriage, maybe even a first divorce! It is so great to receive a funny email, but what should you send? Well let me help you out! List:

1) Funny Emails to Send Friends:

Wow, gas is so expensive these days. But hell, at least cars arn’t powered with any of these liquids.

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ……….$9.52 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25…. $10.00 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59……$10.17 per gallon

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 … $10.32 per gallon

Evian water 9 oz $1.49…$21.19 per gallon – Evian spelled backwards is Naive!

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39…….. . $25.42 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 …… $33.60 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99…..$84.48 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85….$123.20 per gallon

Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 … $178.13 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER…

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?   So they have you hooked for the ink. Ink costs about $5,200 a gallon, so you better hope your printer isn’t an ink hog.

So, the next time you’re at the pump, be glad your car doesn’t run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

2.  Another funny email to send friends:

Three women die in blazing fire and go to heaven.

They approach St. Peter in awe. St. Peter welcomes them to Heaven and tells them:  ’We only have one rule here in heaven: Don’t step on the ducks!’ Of course the three women nod in agreement. There aren’t ducks in heaven!

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks as far as the eye can see. In fact, it is nearly impossible not to step on a duck. The three do their best to avoid the ducks but after only an hour the first woman accidentally steps on one.

The duck squeals and St. Peter appears with the ugliest man the three women had ever seen. St. Peter chains the first woman to the man and says, ‘Your punishment for stepping on that duck is to spend eternity chained to this hideous man!’

The next day, the two women try especially hard not to step on the ducks. But unfortunately the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on; very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, ‘I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?’

The guy says, ‘I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck.’

3. A hilarious picture to send your friends:

4. Yet another really funny email:

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Martha replied, “Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason”.

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons?”

Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”

Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at No charge.”

“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“All right,” Martha said, “so do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”

5.  funny birthday email:

A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I d love to be ten again.” On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, “Actually, honey, I meant dress size!”